Everyday, everywhere there are lines.  In our bodies, in our minds and in our actions.  There is no question.  But there  is question as to what those lines means to each of us.  How wide are they, how far they stretch and how close we are to them.  And what, if anything, will make you cross those lines.  When are those lines developed in us?  Who helps us establish them or are they automatically set at conception?

I think I know my lines, my boundaries.  I thought I knew those around me.  Who would choose to engage with people who cross the lines without looking back?  I don’t want to be around those that don’t hold their core beliefs sacred.  I don’t want to be around those that do what is easiest instead of what is right.  I don’t want to know someone who would run screaming to get to the other side of the line without looking back.  Without caring what wrath was left by their actions.  I can sympathize with the person that crosses the line but wishes they wouldn’t have.  With someone who may realize too late that they crossed the line under false pretenses. 

I don’t want to associate with someone who is deliberately malice.  I have tried to live my life like it matters.  I have tried to do what is right.  I have tried to be helpful, understanding, compassionate.  At times I have failed.  Those failures endure my life with me.  They are instant reminders of what I have done, what I could have lost, and how immature I was at the time.  I’m lucky to have those in my life that have overlooked those flaws and loved me anyway.  But I still know there are limits.  I admire those that can emanate endless compassion and forgiveness.   Those that have the strength to take on more than what is expected of most.  I wish I could live my life more like them. 

I wish I could structure my ‘lines’ into what defines friendship and family.  I’m pretty sure I have.  I know never to be intentionally mean.  I know to stick by your family.  Because when all else fails, it’s family who will be there for you.  I know never to share a secret, especially out of spite.  I know that 99 % of the time, there are reasons that people do what they do, say what they say.  Right or wrong.  I hope I have taught my children which lines are solid, which may falter and what to do with each.  How to respect each of them, how to respect other people.  But I want them to also learn there are limits.  That no one person can take on it all.  There is no one person that can take the anger, the blame, the hate, the insults, the using.  Not and still look at you in the same way.

I feel safe looking in the mirror each day.  I feel safe in the fact that I know what is right and wrong.  I know the reaction of anger and what it can make people do and say.   But I also know the limits to anger.  I know what lines I personally, would never cross.  Those lines are imbedded deeply within me.  As I would never cross them, I wouldn’t be able to forget when someone demolishes those lines without care.  For as strongly as I hold my values, I cannot reach out to someone who willingly trashes those core beliefs.

I don’t know when our values are firmly attached to our souls.  I don’t even know who puts them there.  Is it society, our parents, God?  I just know that everyday the question is present, where is the line and do I want to cross that semblance of decency? 

I just know I don’t want to move across those lines.  Especially at the expense of others.  Do you??

~ by mamadubs on October 2, 2007.

One Response to “Lines”

  1. You always amaze me in how you are able to jot down your true feels in such wonderful words. With you there is no gray, one always knows where they stand with you and the truth is all you know and will always say. You are truly a compassionate person in that you try to advise those to suceed by admitting your own shorcomings. Most people don’t have the courage to admit that. You are one of the few people I know that has made a promise to yourself and family to be all that you can be, and your doing all you can to keep that promise. Good for you and how proud I am to be a part of your life. How sad it is that some people purposly cross the line knowing all to well it will hurt the people they say they love. No remorse, no sadness only excuses of how right they are and the rest of society is wrong. Like they are deservent without working for it, that they should be welcome with open arms when they are down and out, for they feel neglected and wronged all their lives that everyone should be there for them because they owe it. Life is not an easy place, one gets what they put into it, if you show love you get love, if you show kindness you get kindness, etc, etc. But this is not a one way road and I thank God your road goes both ways, keep up the love.

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