How Do They Really Feel About Becoming Aunts and Uncles

How did my other children react to the news? We had a vast scale of feelings. I am not sure how Katie’s older sister took the news and is handling it on a daily basis, but I can tell you what happened in our house.

Aleck was fine. Surprised and once it sank in he seems pretty excited. He willingly gave up his bedroom (the bigger of the two) so AJ and Rory can share the big one. My daughter, Amanda (the oldest, only girl and 18) was none too happy about the situation. At first and for a while, she was angry. Angry at AJ, angry at us. It all was a bit confusing for everyone and we still really aren’t sure where all the anger came from. When I asked if she was a little dissapointed that she was not the first to have a child, she was very specific to say NO! She was “not getting pregnant before marriage and not getting married for quite some time.” It really left me puzzeled and unsure on how to handle it. At one point she said that it was unfair that she was working so hard to get through college and here AJ was going to have it easy and not have to go. There showed a little bit of her immaturity at the time. Most of us know that if there was one of my children who was going to have a harder time in life, it would be AJ. And if he can accomplish all he is planning to (finish high school, post secondary school, college, career), and pull it off doing well and raising a baby, it was going to take hard work, damn hard work. Amanda said she was mad that I let AJ spend time not supervised by me with Katie. This coming from a girl who at 14 traveled on vacation with her boyfriend of 17 and his older brother and girl friend. This coming from the girl that I made the mistake of giving too much freedom. I had tried to make sure not to make the same mistakes with the rest of my children and changed the way I was parenting a bit and the advantages I was giving my kids too early in life. Well, guess what…. it still happened. They still made the choice to have sex. By the way… Katie was on the pill, so they chose not to use a condom. Dumb!!!! People reading…. tell your kids not to bank on one form of birth control. Always use 2!

So back to the subject at hand. AJ actually had a talk with or I should say to Amanda. These two kids don’t see eye to eye on some things and rarely speak. Not for hate but mostly because they both are busy with their own lives and don’t make the effort. But AJ said to her…. “you are our role model. YOU are. I am a screw-up. I have always been a screw-up. I spent so much time in middle school getting in trouble, I don’t remember 7th grade. Until last year I was getting into fights almost daily. I just started turning my life around and now I am going to be a father. At 16!! It scares me every day to know that Aleck looks to me as his hero. I am not a hero. You are the hero, Amanda. You are the role model.” Needless to say there were a few of us crying after that. Don’t get the wrong idea, there were no hugs of regret or support. Just a silence that said to Amanda ‘stop your bitching’ and one to AJ that said ‘maybe I misunderstood what all you are going through’. After that Amanda brought home many, many baby clothes. She did volunteer work for a christian based organization that helped pregnant teens in all areas, even clothing. There was some clothes that either was out of the range of those accepted by the organization or that had not moved from the shelves. Amanda asked if she could have her brother go through the clothes and see if there is anything that could be helpful before she took them to the Salvation Army. They gave their permission and I can say she brought home a car full of clothes on more than 2 occasions. Yes… we have clothes. I think it her way of showing her acceptance, and her help. I know when the baby gets here she will be all over it with love and affection. Good thing there is plenty of time as the baby grows in Katie for dear Amanda to adjust.

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~ by mamadubs on September 26, 2006.

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